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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26754181">Snape and Lockhart Catch a Convict</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_Sugar_High/pseuds/Do_Sugar_High'>Do_Sugar_High</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>And the Story Goes On [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Or do they?, Rare Pairings, Third Year, dog catchers never win, except McGonagall, hogwart's weirdest couple, no one believes they're together, smug McGonagall, who is smug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:35:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26754181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_Sugar_High/pseuds/Do_Sugar_High</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape's list of dislikes could circle the globe easily three times over, and at the very top of that list were rusted cauldrons and  Sirius Black. Gilderoy Lockhart couldn't say he had ever spared a thought for the notorious criminal aside from perhaps a sigh of pity at the waste of a perfectly good face. Not as good as his dear potion master's, but quite good none the less. </p>
<p>Personal grudges or lack thereof aside, how hard could it be to catch a madman on the loose in a boarding school full of rule breaking children with invisibility cloaks? And a wereworlf. Apparently there was one of those this year too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gilderoy Lockhart/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>And the Story Goes On [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Snape and Lockhart Catch a Convict</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here's the promised follow up to Nothing Between the Ears. This'll be the first part in a series that follows my favorite rare pair Snape and Lockhart through a story that will eventually lead to the accidental destruction of a dark lord, but I honestly haven't even story boarded that yet, so take this one as a year 3 stand alone.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Prologue </strong>
</p>
<p>Back in Severus’ school days, everyone knew Sirius Black was an animagus. It was one of the worst kept secrets in the school. First years giggled while they played fetch with the ‘mysterious stray’ that hung around the lake. McGonagal always happened to be looking the other way when she spotted a mutt curled by the fire in the Gryfindor common room.</p>
<p>Yes, Black was an unregistered canine animagus, but what did that have to do with him escaping Azkaban?</p>
<p>Everything apparently.</p>
<p>“Severus, I love your mind dearly, but even it can be incredibly dense,” Gilderoy said, setting down his cup of tea.</p>
<p>Usually Gilderoy would be the last person Severus wanted to hear that from, but when the blond spoke in that tone with the crinkle by his eye that never appeared on the dozens of magazine covers, Severus knew it was Slytherin Lockhart sitting before him</p>
<p>If Slytherin Lockhart said he was dense, that meant he had done something incredibly foolish like woken up for class on a Sunday or used a <em>Point-me</em> spell to find his wand. Right then and there, on a foggy March morning, Severus knew he was about to have a stepped-in-dog-shit kind of day.</p>
<p>Sirius Black had been terrorizing the school for months, breaking in, shredding portraits, and calling down dementors on their heads. The dementors may not have been under his command, but it was his fault they were there. Everything that went wrong in the world was Sirius Black’s fault, and there wasn’t a thing anyone could say to change Severus’ mind on that one.</p>
<p>Student explodes a potion in class? She was too busy gossiping about Black to differentiate between nettles and pine. Out of his favorite brand of tea? The only vendor in Hogsmead to stock it closed up shop and ran off to France after the first Black sighting. Stubbed his toe? Well it didn’t bloody matter why every desk in his classroom was shifted to the left, but it was probably Black’s fault.</p>
<p>Severus wanted one Saturday, just one, where he didn’t have to think about that prick of a murderous man-child. He was supposed to be able to relax over a mediocre brunch at Rosmerta’s pub and catch up on Gilderoy’s latest expedition in Peru, but no. Of course the conversation turned to Black.</p>
<p>“Honey—“</p>
<p>“No.” Severus nipped that one right in the bud.</p>
<p>“Sugar?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely not.”</p>
<p>GIlderoy lifted an inquiring brow. He reached a hand forward to slide his fingers around the curve of Severus’ wrist. “Darling, then?” His thumb rubbed gently over the pulse point there.</p>
<p>The beat did not pick up, and Severus scoffed at the weak attempt. “I will poison you,” he promised, breaking the grip.</p>
<p>His companion winked and took an unconcerned sip of his own beverage. It was very sweet. The drink, not the gesture. “Like you haven’t already tried.” </p>
<p>It was an ongoing debate between them. Severus had a perfectly suitable name and would answer to nothing else. Gilderoy, Severus knew, didn’t particularly care aside from his random flights of fancy, but the man did have an unhealthy fixation with pissing Severus off, ridiculous pet names with public displays being a favored method. He was also tragically skilled at detecting poisons, regardless of the experimental varieties Severus cobbled up. Severus attempted his absolute best in turn to work out a few more.</p>
<p>Severus had missed Lockhart over their time apart. With Gilderoy travelling the world on his questionably legal schemes and Severus stuck at the castle, they could only meet like this every month or so, and neither were the type for regular floo calls. With their usual interactions infrequent and limited to letters, it was all the more unpleasant to have Sirius Black butt into their brunch.</p>
<p>Now that Gilderoyhad raised a point, however, Severus’ brain was unable to let it drop.</p>
<p>To repeat, everyone knew Black was an animagus. However, war was a terrible thing. Take that ‘everyone’ and subtract the Deatheaters, subtract those killed by Deatheaters, subtract those who fled the country and those too deep in war memories and a bottle to think critically about the ramifications of an unregistered animagus. What remained could be counted on a few fingers and possibly a toe or two. This turned a once open secret into an esoteric kernel of knowledge buried in the minds of a few.</p>
<p>The world was hunting for a man while all along it had been a dog slipping through the fence. Yes, Severus had been incredibly dense, hadn’t he?</p>
<p>Gilderoy finished off his double stacked flapjacks with a final smug and dainty bite. “I’m due in Milan on Tuesday, but I can push that meeting back. Would you care for a hand in catching your stray?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope this made you curious enough to stick around. The full thing will just be one chapter, so the 1/2 chapter count at the top is correct. </p>
<p>I love kudos and comments, so feel free to leave a few words. Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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